Empowerment

I thought about calling this page “How to Turn Your Whisper into a Roar in Three Easy Steps”, but that would be misleading. It isn’t quite that easy.

When I lost my voice, I was shocked at how much it changed my daily life. I couldn’t pick up the phone and order a pizza. There was not much point in picking up the phone at all, since so few people could hear or understand my whisper. I couldn’t say “thank you” when I got my change at the news stand, or “good morning” to the bus driver on my way downtown. I dreaded the question “paper or plastic?” at the grocery store. Social situations meant smiling and nodding a lot, as if I hadn’t quite learned the language but was enjoying the party anyway...

There were so many things I missed being able to say.

Does that come in a size nine?

No mayo, please.

Taxi!

Hi! How are you?

Fill it with regular, please.

Where would I find books on travel?

and a million other things, but most of all:

I love you.

I tried for two weeks to set up a follow-up appointment with my surgeon after the thyroid surgery which removed my voice along with a goiter.
I faxed. I emailed. I never got a response. I emailed the surgeon directly and he wrote back, but he wasn’t in charge of scheduling appointments. I realized the world was not going to adjust to me; I had adjust to the world. So I picked up the phone and called. A pleasant, patient man answered, and I did my best to whisper my request. It was difficult, but eventually I got the appointment.

Now I use the phone every day. I croak and squeak and have to repeat myself, but I use the phone.
I do my job, run meetings, brainstorm with my crew, meet new people. I explain my disability dozens of times a day. I can’t shout, but I can whisper with authority.

One

Own your disability. It’s part of you. Tell people why your voice is soft (or hoarse, or high, or whispery) Tell them right up front. Encourage them to ask you to repeat things if they can’t hear you the first time. Place the responsibility for understanding you on them.

Two

Demand the best care. Stay in your doctor’s office until he or she has addressed all your concerns. Ask for your medical records. They are your property and your health care providers must make them available to you. Keep copies. Read them, even if you don’t understand everything you read. Ask questions. If possible, find a great voice therapist and make use of everything he or she can offer.

Three

Network. Use this web site, create your own web site, use myspace and facebook. Email your friends. Find others who share your disability. Join a support group like VoiceMatters. As I’m writing this, I personally know only three other people with permanent VFP...but there are thousands of us out there. We can help each other. I want keep learning new and better ways to cope. I want to hear other people’s stories; their tips for getting through their lives, their hopes and concerns. Together, we’re a quiet but powerful little army!

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